Events · Homestyle · iheartslFeed · Opinions & Thoughts

The one with the controversy

Recently, someone said to me “how can you blog (X designer)!?! (X designer) is such a JERK.” No, I will not name names. It’s not really my style. But in this particular case, I don’t personally know X Designer. Funny thing is, neither did the person telling me X Designer is a jerk. That person heard it from a friend. That friend’s friend dated X Designer (supposedly). Now, I’m sure the person who told me this believes it to be true. I’m sure the friend of that person believes it. Maybe even the original source believes it. But I don’t know any of those people, and I don’t know the designer. The designer is incredibly talented, and I love the work… and that, my dear readers, is why I blog X Designer.

I don’t personally know a lot of the designers I blog. Even many of the designers I officially blog for, I really don’t know. I have plenty of people I consider friends that are designers, and these are people I know, but that’s more the exception than the rule. I have like 65k in my inventory. I’ve probably never even spoken to the majority of the designers who have made these items, let alone gotten to know them well enough to judge for myself, firsthand, what kind of person they are.

And here’s the shocker, and the part that’s likely to be controversial. I am not blogging the creator, I am blogging the creations, and so I honestly don’t really care very much. So X Designer is an asshole. If X Designer is a talented asshole, I’m unlikely to stop shopping at X Designer’s store, and I’ll probably keep blogging their items. There are several reasons for this, not the least of which is that “asshole” is something we all personally define. What one person considers rude or unacceptable behavior, someone else may consider sarcastic wit. It’s really hard to know anyone in a virtual world. Hell, it’s hard enough to really know anyone in the real world! But there’s also the simple reality that what people say in writing can be very hard to parse. Tone, emotion, context… these things can all be translated very differently by different people when you’re dealing with written words. Someone may not mean to say something offensive, and they may not mean something to sound sarcastic, but because we don’t hear the words said, it is often hard to truly know how people mean the things they say.

We also all have our own “hot button” issues. I’m a bisexual, anti-dieting, Libertarian atheist. As I’ve repeatedly said, both in my virtual life and my real life, if I couldn’t “agree to disagree” I’d have like 3 people to talk to in the entire world. I welcome debate, as long as it is respectful. I admit I get frustrated by ignorance, but I also am not going to stop shopping at someone’s store because I think they hold ignorant opinions. So, are there lines that can be crossed, where I will not shop at someone’s store anymore? Of course. We all have that proverbial “line in the sand” that, once crossed, is really hard to ignore. There are some designers (and no, I will still not name names) who have managed to personally irk me in some way, usually by behaving in a way I consider intolerable on Plurk. In these cases, I’ve seen the behavior firsthand and I decide based on that evidence. We all have to know ourselves, and know what we consider behavior that crosses our own threshold of “acceptable.”

If someone tells me, “oh, I refuse to blog X Designer,” I respect that choice, even if I still blog that person. I’m also never going to make a choice with secondhand information. I don’t work with hearsay. Every story has at least two sides, if not more, and words are easily – and often accidentally – taken out of context. I’m the same way with my friends. I need to see bad behavior firsthand before I stop speaking to someone. It’s not that I don’t believe the people who tell me these “bad” things about the other people. I’m quite sure that in most instances, what I am being told is 100% believed. But I still can’t make a decision based on secondhand information, because maybe it’s all a horrible misunderstanding. Or maybe X Designer or person is really a horrible twat. But I’m always going to need firsthand evidence because, well… that’s just how I work. If you don’t work this way, that’s okay, too. We all have to make our own choices in life, and no one has the right to tell you that your choice to blog or not blog (or to shop or not shop at) a specific store is “wrong” or “bad.”

Ultimately, we live with the consequences of our own choices. Maybe someday, somehow, I’ll discover that X Designer really is a jerk. Likely, I’ll be annoyed I wasted money on a jerk, but whatever. We move on. It should be the worst thing to happen to me, and if X Designer’s a big enough jerk – in my opinion – then I’ll stop shopping there and blogging items from there.

Anyway, all this rather serious thought so early in the morning had me wanting to have some fun. So, I grabbed this adorable trampoline from Hopscotch for the current round of The Boutique, and put it in my pretty little courtyard garden and jumped away the stress!

Garden Jump

More from me soon… I know I’ve been quiet lately. Just not feeling well and also trying to keep up with my current grad class.


PS. This house from Zacca is one of my favorite ever houses in SL, and I’ll have more pics of it soon! Click through to the pic on Flickr, and hover for notes to see where garden items are from. Or you can just ask me!

Skin: League – Isla – Medium
Hair: Truth – Sadie – Reds04Fade
Top: coldLogic – jacobs – sage
Shorts: coldLogic – pitt – cotton
Feet: SLink – Bare feet – Mesh
Pose: Hopscotch – Jump, Jump multipose prop

3 thoughts on “The one with the controversy

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