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Chapter Three

When I initially read the prompts for Chapter Three of The Writer’s Block, I really wasn’t sure I’d even have anything to say this time around. I don’t really think too much about going back in time to change things. Not because there aren’t things worth changing, but because I believe that every event in our lives leads us to the place we are right now, but literally and metaphorically. I happen to love my life, despite the challenges I’ve faced. So, I wouldn’t risk making a change that might completely alter my entire history, or cost me all the good I have in my present life. The other three prompts seemed interesting, but well… I’m in SL with my RL husband, so sex in SL is sort of irrelevant to me at this point. But I did mentally keep coming back to the fourth prompt… “the struggle between the real and the second” seemed very compelling to me. But what to say? I honestly wasn’t sure I could think of anything. My SL and RL have always been pretty merged (the whole RL husband thing again).

Then yesterday I was shooting a new poster for the front of our store Embody. We have six huge posters of our products, and we try to highlight the basics and best sellers with the posters. One of our biggest selling categories has always been maternity. So, for the poster, I got all dressed up like I’d been thoroughly knocked up and was about to pop. I thought I looked pretty darn adorable, dressed like a pregnant diva on a shopping spree, and well… it made me realize that maybe I did have a story to share about the struggle between the first and the second.

The reality of dreams

I remember when I was still brand new to SL. I mean, maybe two weeks old, and we were at a club where a woman had a tummy talker. I found it so odd. I didn’t understand the point of role playing a pregnancy (or anything) at all. But I had literally no exposure to RP before SL, so that’s not really surprising. Also, let’s face it. It’s easy in life to be judgmental. Humans are judgmental by nature, and my personal opinion on that is that we need to be able to make judgments. Being judgmental helps us make decisions and choices. The question is whether or not those judgments are flexible, and are they based on all the facts. Can we be fair judges in our lives, both real or second? That’s the part that’s tricksy.

I like to believe I am open-minded. I am fond of saying that I am a bisexual, anti-dieting, Libertarian atheist with a degree in anthropology. If I couldn’t be open-minded, or accepting of differences, I wouldn’t really have very many people to talk to in this life. Besides that, agreeing with everyone all the time sounds boring to me. I like debate, and intellectual discourse. I like to learn. I may be opinionated, and there are some things which I cannot imagine I will ever feel differently about, but I’m willing to listen to other perspectives.

Okay, so back to the story… the tummy talker kind of freaked me out. The SL pregnancy thing just seemed odd.

Then a friend of mine in SL got pregnant a few weeks later with twins. She looked, well… adorable, to be honest. All round and cute and dancing around with her new husband, and she mentioned that they couldn’t be together in RL and he couldn’t have anymore RL kids even if they could. Suddenly, I saw the whole thing in a new light. You see, part of how I wound up in SL was infertility. Oh, not directly. It was not like “well, can’t have kids, let’s join SL.” It was a series of events, but they are all events that would’ve transpired very differently had we had children as we’d planned, and tried for for two years. That all ties back to my not changing the past thing, really. If I’d become a mother, as I’d dreamed of my entire life and for years after meeting my husband, I know I would have been damn unlikely to be in SL. Which is not to say mothers shouldn’t be in SL, by the way. I just want to clarify that. It’s just my personal belief that I never would’ve been in stupid YoVille, which is what led to me winding up in not-generally-stupid SL. Just a disclaimer.

It wasn’t long before I realized that I could have an SL pregnancy and baby… I didn’t get to do any of the fun “I’m pregnant” stuff in RL because I couldn’t get pregnant. Infertility sucks all the joy out of the entire experience, at least until you get pregnant, if you’re fortunate enough. I wasn’t. But here I was, in a virtual world with virtual doctors and my real life husband. Rad is a serious trooper, and he went through it all with me and even played along. Once he asked a silly question about whether or not the gymnastics type run in my AO was safe for the baby. The first time, I was pregnant for only 5 weeks, and Ashlan was born. The second time I was pregnant 20 weeks, and we had Trinity. After Ashlan and Trinity, I was supposedly done. I wasn’t going to do it again. It wasn’t inexpensive, and it was silly… right?

Then my real life sister got pregnant. She was 17, and pretty much got pregnant the day she left rehab for the third time. Now, I love my nephew. I’ve only gotten to meet him once, but I adore him and we talk on the phone (he usually hangs up on me). He’s so sweet and I am so grateful we have him in our lives, but it was hardly ideal for my troubled teenage sister with a dysfunctional relationship to have gotten pregnant. And it just tore my heart to shreds. My sister was like my daughter, which is a long and complicated story I will spare you all from reading, but she was. We were inseparable, and we were so much alike in many ways. Until the drugs. Then things changed. Eventually, we had a huge fight. She told me I was just jealous of her because she could get pregnant and I couldn’t. Now, she was 18 and troubled and pregnant… but that is something that will always sting, and our relationship has never been the same. Maybe when she gets a little older (she’s not quite 22), things will change. But for now, it’s a gaping hole in my heart… and in the moment, several years ago, it was utterly crushing.

During that painful time, I decided I wanted another SL pregnancy and baby. Rad told me he didn’t think I’d be satisfied until I did one that lasted nine whole months. Now, you won’t meet a lot of people in SL who have done nine month pregnancies. Not in SL where a week seems like a month, and a month easily feels like three. Time in SL is so strange and nebulous. But I said yes… okay, let’s go for it. Let’s do the whole nine months. I didn’t pick the gender this time, either. I did, about halfway into the pregnancy, decide I was having twins, but we RP’d it like the doctor “discovered” the second baby. I didn’t pick hair color, but rather gave options based on our avs. Same with eye color, skin tone… you get the point. I made it as real as I possibly could, so that I could get it out of my system. And it worked, too. No, it is not the same. It could never be the same, naturally. But it’s as close as I could get to the real experience.

I know pregnancy in SL is one of those “hot button” issues everyone has an opinion on, and I know the vast majority of people I’ve met find it silly, stupid, weird or some combination of those things. I’ve seen plenty of snarky comments about prim babies, tummy talkers and pregnant avatars. I always get really mad, but I remind myself that at first I also didn’t “get it.” The thing is, you don’t have to “get it” to be more accepting and less judgmental. I don’t get a lot of things. I don’t get prayer, for instance. But I try to not judge people for whom that is an important part of their lives. I believe that, so long as your choices aren’t hurting other people, they are yours to make.

For me the struggle of not being able to have children in real life turned into something of a struggle in Second Life when I felt judged by total strangers or even friends for being (or having been) pregnant in SL. Now, mind you I muted my tummy talker in public places (with only family-friendly locations as an exception). Or I took it off. I didn’t wear it to laggy events. I didn’t take my (prim) babies to public places because I personally didn’t see the need, although I know some people RP in a way where leaving a baby with “Nanny Inventory” is not okay. But I went through so much trying to get pregnant in RL… and I never could. Second Life gave me the chance to live out a dream. No, it wasn’t the dream I wanted or imagined, but it was as close as I could get to that dream. I remember being baffled when a girl wearing an interactive cat tail judged my av’s pregnant belly. Really? I doubt she had a RL cat tail on her body. Part of what makes SL fun is doing what we can’t do in RL, or what we choose not to do in RL. For some of us, that includes pregnancy and families.

So, the next time you see a pregnant av before you snicker about it, consider what it might mean to her (or him!). Consider that maybe the person had cancer treatments that left her infertile. Or that her partner can’t have RL kids. Or that it’s the only way for two people who are currently living thousands of miles apart to share that experience. Consider that just maybe what you don’t understand is allowing the person to work through something very painful and difficult, and you don’t have to understand it. It’s okay for everyone to have their own unique SL experiences, and their own unique RL ones.

After all, don’t you?

Belleza for Collab

Some of the cuteness I have on can be found at the new edition of Collabor88, so if you love autumn, be sure to hop on over. I took these pics at the gorgeous sim that is home to Little Closet, and if you want a lovely autumnal place to hang out and take pics, definitely check it out. My hair is new from Truth for The Season Story event, which is full of wonderful fall goodness, too!

~Lucie

Credits
Skin: Belleza – Leila – Pale – 03 (Collabor88)
Eyes: IKON – Perspective – Glass (coming soon)
Hair: Truth – Junpier – Reds (The Season Story)
Dress: Geometry – Love Maternity Dress – Ivory 3rd trimester
Jacket: coldLogic – Plume – Earth (part of a dress)
Hands: SLink – mesh -Casual
Boots: League – Lauren – Taupe (Collabor88)
Poses: Embody – Mother MegaPack

Events · Homestyle · Looks

So many looks, so little time

I’ve had a rotten week. Let’s just get it out there. Fibromyalgia is an evil bitch sometimes. Okay, most of the time. So, I took some time off. But today I realized, wait, Lucie… you have TONS TO BLOG! And so, here I am. Blogging some of the tons.

Let’s start with last week’s new Truth style Marina & new mesh pants from BOOM. I snagged this adorable tank during a recent sale at Geometry, and I finished off the look with my Storm heels from Gos. I kind of agonized over what shoes to wear, but these were perfect. With the change of seasons upon us – or at least on those of us who live in ridiculous places, like I do – I’ve been getting my adorable Funky Junk cottage ready for autumn. I have had my eye on this snuggle chair from LISP for a long time now, and I decided it was simply time. So, on cool, late summer morning, I got comfy in my chair with some coffee.

Big Comfy Chair

I love these pants. They come in an unbelievable selection of colors. I’ve chosen to model the cocoa (above) and the cobalt (below). The top in the below pic is from Cracked Mirror for My Attic (August edition – Shaken Not Stirred – runs through August 31st). I’ve been seeing a lot of plaid in SL fashion lately, and I say bring it on! I love plaid. This pose is from Miseria. Something about it brought to mind the Billy Joel song “Pressure,” and that inspired this pic. It’s something of a departure for me, but it’s quirky and I like quirky.

Pressure

The hair is also from last week’s Truth release, and I feel so sophisticated and sexy in this one. It’s called Bria, and even the name feels elegant! This pose is also from Miseria and is part of the August pack available at The Attic. I fell in love with this cylinder necklace from Handverk. The items from that store are so unique. My earrings were made by my friend Altair Stickfigure. They feature Pusheen. She made them for me after I discovered that cute kitty this week.

Hold On

After a long day, I decided to unwind… though this My Attic release from Pididdle is intended as a bikini, I decided it could make for some cute lingerie, too, and I lounged about in bed in our Linden home (I wanted shadows which, alas, I don’t get in my sky area because of the surround) wearing that (and little else) while the sun set.

Languid

The next morning, I tossed one of Rad’s shirts over my linger-kini while I got some work done over a lazy breakfast in bed, courtesy of my What Next Nieve bed (if only our RL beds could give us food!).

The morning after

Okay, so the Boyfriend Shirt is actually a new release from Zenith Fashions. I just had to have it. I chose this color because it actually looked like a shirt Rad would wear. In fact, I think it looks like one he has!

And now that I’ve had some rest, it’s time for me to get back to work… which means more posts soon! I wish you a fabulous weekend.

~Lucie

Credits
Look 1:
Skin: Izzie's – Elena – Sunkissed w/green eyeshadow, eyeliner, blush & caramel lip tattoos
Hair: Truth – Marina – Sangria w/roots
Eyes: IKON – Horizone – Deep Hazel
Nails: Izzie’s – French Manicure
Top: Geometry – Romantic – Sage (MESH)
Pants: BOOM – Miami Linen Pants – Cocoa (MESH)
Shoes: Gos – Storm Sandals – Cedar
Chair: LISP – Snuggle Chair – Cottage Amber

Look 2:
Skin: Izzie's – Elena – Sunkissed w/blue eyeshadow, eyeliner & natural rose lip tattoos
Hair: Truth – Bria – Sangria w/roots (MESH)
Eyes: IKON – Horizon – Dark Blue
Nails: Izzie’s – French Manicure
Lashes: Beetlebones – Minimalist – Black (MESH)
Top: Cracked Mirror – Billow – Blue Plaid (MESH)
Pants: BOOM – Miami Linen Pants – Cobalt (MESH)
Necklace: Handverk – Cylinder Necklace – Black & Silver (MESH)
Feet: Pixel Mode – Bare Feet (MESH)
Poses: Miseria – Sunrise 02 & August 07A

Look 3:
Skin: Izzie's – Elena – Sunkissed w/gray eyeshadow, blush & natural lips
Hair: Magika – Safe – Pack 02
Eyes: IKON – Utopia – Light Silver
Bikini: Pididdle – Ribbon Kini – Cream/Navy
Top: Zenith Fashions – Boyfriend Shirt – Deep Blue (MESH)
Glasses: PrimOptic – Sleek
Feet: Pixel Mode – Bare Feet (MESH)
Bed: What Next – Nieve Bed w/props

Events · Looks

I like variety…

Since I like variety, this post is going to bring you a good mix of some current SL events and releases. In this first look, I am featuring Vintage Fair, Collabor88 & FaMESHed. This dramatic mesh gown is from Loovus Dzevavor for Vintage Fair. The hair I paired it with is Wasabi Pills Sylvie for FaMESHed, and the quirky, funky sunglasses are from PIDIDDLE for Collabor88’s 1st birthday Baroque-themed edition.

Swirly

This skin is the new Elena skin from Izzie’s, but more on that in the next look. This adorable prop pose is from Status Poses. I just loved the cute bag, and in this outfit, with this pose, I felt like I was a celebrity trying to escape the paparazzi on the way out of town for a vacation getaway!

Time Travel

My other look must be post-arrival on the “family farm,” because it’s much more casual and country chic! For this look, I paired Geometry’s Vintage Fair Daisy dress with the new barefeet from Pixel Mode and this adorable new braid hairstyle from Truth. The skin is Elena, and I am so in love with this skin. These next pics were taken in T Town, which is a really pretty sim, and a great place to shoot pics.

Lucie on the Prairie

Here’s a better look at the lovely Elena skin. I especially adore the mouth on this face. It’s pouty and sensual, and a nice juxtaposition for the overall innocence of this skin (on a side note, my BFF Rosa told me I looked “too innocent” in this outfit, and she knows me better).

Farmer's Daughter

I hope you had a nice, relaxing weekend… and that Monday is kind to you. More from me soon.

~Lucie

Credits
Look 1:
Skin: Izzie’s – Elena – Sunkissed
Hair: Wasabi Pills – Sylvie – Rouge (MESH) FaMESHed
Shades: PIDIDDLE – Fleurir Sunshades – C’est Chic (MESH) Collabor88
Dress: Loovus Dzevavor – Couture – Deco Vestito – Geo (MESH) Vintage Fair
Shoes: ChaChaDee – 70s Heels – Reptile Black – Vintage Fair
Poses: Embody – Bride 5 (pic 1) & Status Poses – Travel 5 (Pic 2) (Travel is from Vintage Fair)

Look 2:
Skin: Izzie’s – Elena – Sunkissed
Eyeshadow: Izzie’s – Elena – Pink
Lips: Izzie’s – Elena – Nude Rose
Hair: Truth – Froukje – Sangria w/roots (MESH)
Eyes: IKON – Horizon – Gray-Green
Dress: Geometry – Daisy – Peach (MESH) Vintage Fair
Feet: Pixel Mode – Bare Feet (MESH)
Pose: Embody – Adorable 4

For Vintage Fair maps & slurls, click here.

Events · Looks

One Voice, Part III

More looks from One Voice for you today! Again, I will refrain from being wordy because there’s a lot to see… starting with this gorgeous skin from Lara Hurley.

Jade by Lara

I paired it with this elegant sheath (mesh) dress from Geometry. The back detail on this is just stunning.

Shy

I loved these sexy, summery sandals from N Core, too. They felt like a great compliment to the dress!

Summer Glam

Blacklace released a stunning mesh corset for this event. I’m not even a big fan of yellow, but I absolutely adored this set.

Daring

I also loved the back details, and it gave me a chance to show off this beautiful tattoo from Collisions.

Tattoo My Soul

And… I did one more pic, just because I loved how the corset moved with various poses.

Pin Up

That’s all for this post. Assuming RL cooperates with me, I will be doing another post tomorrow!

~Lucie

Look 1:
Skin: Lara – Jade – Pale*
Hair: Exile – Late At Night – Cayenne (tinted) (MESH)
Eyes: IKON – Utopia – Light Silver+Blue
Lashes: Beetlebones – Dainty (MESH)
Shape: Embody – Anya for Standard Size Mesh Small (not yet released)
Dress: Geometry – Chic Fleur – Pink (MESH)*
Shoes: N Core – Eloise – Black*

Look 2:
Skin: Curio – Lustre – Petal Frex [Dark] – Glamour Puss 2 w/cleavage option 3
Hair: Exile – Break Away – Swiss (MESH)*
Eyes: IKON – Horizon – Deep Leaf
Lashes: Beetlebones – Dainty (MESH)
Shape: Embody – Roslym for Standard Size Mesh Large (not yet released)
Lingerie: Blacklace – Phoenix – Gold Corset (MESH) w/panties*
Tattoo: Collisions – Suffering Artist*
Shoes: G Field – Alex – White Patent

Poses from Embody
Pic 1: Rapunzel 4
Pic 2: Flirt 1
Pic 3: Flirt 3
Pic 4: Sizzle 4
Pic 5: Cheesecake 2
Pic 6: Sizzle 3